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What to do if your child watches "adult movie"?

2016-05-28
 
This question sooner or later appears for all parents. Widespread distribution of gadgets and available internet substitute for modern children prohibited images that were viewed by their parents in teenage years.
 

Why should children watch erotic videos?

First episodes of watching "adult video" are at the age of 6-8 years. In such a way appears a natural form of knowledge of life, moreover electronic devices make it possible to easily find new knowledge in such area, which is completely unknown to the child.
 
It is very difficult to avoid this, as any content is available for children on their own phone or on phones of classmates or older boys. So watching the erotic video product by pupils of primary school is quite common occurrence.
 
Interest in the issues of sex at the age of 6-8 years is a normal formation of sexuality. The child understands that people are divided into men and women, tries to understand how he/she was born and how adult relationships are created. It became important for him/her to know the difference between boys and girls, and he/she tries to find answers to own questions. If adults were not able to create an atmosphere where the baby can learn from parents what he is interested in, if the family has taboo to discuss questions about sex, the child has to seek information where it is available.
 
When the child became a teenager, the interest to the "forbidden video" is a stage of knowledge of own sexuality.
 
 
During this period the teenager is already beginning to feel a personal affection for someone of the opposite sex, he/she feels first serious feelings. The theme of the relationship between women and men is not just children's interest, this issue became very personal. Watching erotic video, the teenager could deal with his/her own impulses, understand better his/her wishes and decide upon standard situations that occur during growing-up. Generally, teenagers clearly understand that what they see on the screen is an imitation, and understand the difference between movie and reality.
 
Parents do not need to consider children viewing erotic videos as something wrong, it is a natural period of growing-up and sexuality realization. And tries to prevent this in today's reality cannot be successful. There are cases that require intervention of parents, but overall interest in sexual relations is a normal situation.

When and how should you discuss with children gender issues?

 
You should talk about sexuality when the child asks. It is important to be attentive to nonverbal messages as children often do not formulate clearly their questions. Trust parental instincts, but always specify whether the child is ready to talk. If the child refuses to talk about this subject, do not hurry him/her.
 
Do not task the conversation with scientific details or unnecessary details, communicate with the child in such language that is understandable for him/her. The main purpose is to overcome own embarrassment and try to speak calmly, in order not to provoke excessive emotions concernment.
If you notice that your child has watched "adult movie", try to assess properly your emotional state and determine whether you can hold a conversation delicately and appropriately.
 
If you can hold an open conversation with your child, discuss the issue calmly and consciously. Try to understand the situation of watching such video, why the child was interested in it, whether it was an individual incident or it is regularly. Remember that there is nothing terrible and the child demonstrates natural cognitive interest.
 
Do not react on the situation so much emotional. The most important is not giving your child to understand that you criticize him/her or consider that watching of erotic video is shameful pastime. If you do not show a disruptive reaction, prohibition, surprising, than most of all, the child does not fix these episodes in the memory as they correspond completely the natural evolution of sexuality.
 
If the child notices that one of the parents is shocked that he/she considers sexuality as a sin or dirtiness, it can imply negatively on sexual evolution, opportunities to build relationships with the opposite sex and create own family.
 
The fact that one of the parents dealing with episodes when the child watches "adult movie" feels indignation or disgust, means the problems with his/her own sexuality. In this case it is necessary to visit a psychologist to calm down and deal with own intimate life.

When you should visit a specialist?

If one of the parents is aware that he/she cannot talk calmly with the child, this conversation is better even not to start. If possible, ask to hold this conversation for adult who has close relationships with your child and who is close to your family. It can be somebody of the teachers, friends or relatives. And in this case you need to control that the child wants self to discuss this delicate topic.

What proves the necessity to deal with the problem?

Parents should pay attention if episodes of watching "forbidden video" by children at the age of 6-8 years are regular, if the child shows strong interest to this topic.
 
Worrying symptoms for teenagers can be obsessive interest, the absence of any interests and hobbies, deteriorating of school grades. You should worry if the teenager is not seeking romantic relationships with peers or there are unnatural or bad episodes in the video that he watches.
 
If parents notice such facts, it means mostly that the teenager has serious problems, with which he tries to manage.
 
It often happens that the teenager is not ready to share own troubles with adults, exaggerating his guilt or assuming that what happened to him is something shameful.
 
 
Watch after the child, if he became withdrawn, very sad, distracted, if he slept uneasily or had no appetite, it indicates that there is something traumatic in his life.
 

This should be considered if you manage to talk with the teenager about the "adult video" in a peaceful situation, perhaps, a child will share with parents own concerns. Planning a consultation with a specialist, it is not necessary to emphasize that the child has problems. Simply present the psychologist or sex-specialist as more qualified professional who has the best qualification.